I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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