Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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