South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
