I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
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Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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