i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
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You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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