I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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