Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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