the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT