dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.