I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.