Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"