what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices