PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
