Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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