I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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