for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
