Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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