Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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