Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
