Screwed.edu
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
