Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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