saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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