He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
