even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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