atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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