he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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