I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
