look no pants
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
