yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
