I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
