only if we run a train.
done.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize