I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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