I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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