She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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