READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
