it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
