Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
