Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
