They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
