What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.