He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
