Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
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You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!