If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
