It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
