i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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