You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We have started to decorate penises.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
