I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My nipple is on Facebook.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize