Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
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Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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