an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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