Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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