Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
