just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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