My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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