Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
