fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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