New low: just hacked my moms facebook
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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