so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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