this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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