is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
