She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize